From Fear to Freedom:

How to overcome the root causes of anxiety

By: Michell Stanley, LICSW, ACC, RYT

Fear is a powerful emotion that can often hold us back from reaching our full potential. Anxiety is rooted in fear. It can consume us, leading to overwhelming worry and even physical symptoms. However, by cultivating resilience, we can develop the belief in our ability to manage and overcome any challenge that comes our way.

In this article, we will explore how to soothe some of the most common fears by building resilience.

Fear #1 — Fear of Death/Dying or Aging:

Description: The fear of death and aging is a natural concern that many people experience. It stems from the uncertainty and finality associated with mortality. This fear can lead to many phobias (like fear of flying, hypochondria, or fear of germs) and a preoccupation with preventing the inevitable.

Resilience Fix #1: Accept Mortality and Find Meaning in Life

To overcome this fear, it is important to:

1. Identify your beliefs about death and dying that cause discomfort.
2. Seek support with those you can speak openly without judgment with.
3. Cultivate new beliefs about death that you can be at peace with.

By accepting this reality, we can shift our focus from fearing the inevitable to find meaning in the life you’re living now.

Fear #2 — Fear of Public Speaking:

Public speaking is the most common fear (second to death). The fear of being judged or making mistakes in front of others can be paralyzing. This fear often stems from a lack of confidence paired with (situationally appropriate) social anxiety.

Resilience Fix #2: Communication, Comfort & Compassion

Build Confidence in your Communication Skills by:

1. Prepare and rehearse your talking points beforehand
2. Slow down as you talk
3. Take time to breathe and pause especially when you are listening to questions or feedback.

Create comfort in your body:

1. Dress comfortably
2. Have ice or water near by to regulate body temperature and stay hydrated.
3. Be well rested and nourished

Calm social anxiety with Compassion:

1. Imagine the room filled with trusted friends or loved ones.
2. Practice public speaking in a supportive environment.
3. Prepare thoroughly, but don’t let perfect be the enemy of the good.

Fear #3 — Fear of Uncertainty:

The fear of uncertainty arises from the unknown and the lack of control over future outcomes. It manifests as anxiety and a constant need for reassurance and predictability.

Resilience Fix #3: Develop Flexibility

1. Practice Surrender: Instead of reacting to uncertainty as a threat, relate to it as a supportive element within the natural rhythm of life. Sit back and go with the flow.
2. Break Free from Automatic Habits: Challenge yourself to break away from your daily routine. Try taking a different route to your usual destination or opt to stand instead of sitting while working.
3. Develop Coping Skills Instead of Seeking Control: By developing effective coping strategies, you can navigate through life’s transitions with greater ease and emotional well-being.

Fear #4 — Fear of Failure:

The fear of failure is a common fear that can hold you back from pursuing your goals and dreams. It stems from the fear of making mistakes, being judged, or not meeting expectations. This fear can lead to a fear of taking risks and a reluctance to step outside of your comfort zone.

Resilience Fix #4: Find the Silver Lining in Set-Backs

1. Reflect on how you’ve grown or benefitted from perceived setbacks or challenges
2. Identify what other areas of your life improved despite the setback or challenge
3. Figure out how you would be able to cope with even the worst case scenario in a way that you can believe that you can be ok no matter what.

Fear #5 — Fear of Missing Out (FOMO):

The Fear of Missing Out is a common fear in today’s fast-paced and highly-connected world. It stems from the anxiety of feeling left out or not being part of experiences or opportunities that others may be enjoying. This fear leads to constant comparison, dissatisfaction, and a fear of making the wrong choices.

Resilience Fix #5 : Embrace Your Decisions:

1. Acknowledge your limitations- Remember that you cannot be everything to everyone, nor can you be in multiple places at once.
2. Prioritize activities that align with your values and goals.
3. Embrace and cherish the experiences and connections that hold meaning for you.

Whether it is the fear of death, public speaking, uncertainty, failure or FOMO, developing resilience allows us to face these fears head-on and grow stronger in the process. Remember, resilience is not about eliminating fear entirely, but rather developing the inner belief in our ability to manage and overcome it. So, let’s embark on this journey of transforming emotional obstacles into opportunities for self-growth!

Stay tuned for our upcoming Intentional Living™ series on Self-Trust starting soon!

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Michell Stanley Certified Professional Coach, Licensed Psychotherapist

As a holistic psychotherapist and a life coach, I use life coaching and psychology to help you be more intentional in your life and relationships so you can evolve through obstacles and enhance fulfillment.