When Couples Shouldn’t “Talk About It”

1. Proactively Communicate When You’re Stressed

It’s great when your partner knows you’re stressed and cuts you some slack. However, this doesn’t tend to be the case. Give your partner a heads up when you are not feeling well, have a lot on your plate or just in a bad mood. This communication can prevent hurt and misunderstanding by taking your behavior personally .

2. Reflect Understanding Before Responding

Validate what your partner is saying, and then ask them: “Did I get that right?” This tool is the ultimate diffuser in a heated argument. Inserting space to reflect and empathically validate what your partner is saying dials down the intensity and urgency that is inherent in a heated conversation.

3. Agree to Take a Break When Triggered

One of the biggest mistakes we make in our relationships is we keep trying to send the message into deaf ears and a closed heart. If you (or your partner) is walking away, shutting down, being aggressive, defensive, blaming or criticizing, it’s unlikely that even the most effectively communicated message will be received. Agree before you get fighting, to table heated conversations until you can both come back with level heads.

Michell Stanley Founder & CEO of Moksha Living



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